Is your lover married?
Myths about following a married man
* He says he loves me better than his wife. You only know what he says. This is an old story, but research indicates that 59 percent of women believe it.
Fact is, most men don't look for something better but something different. It is also known that men having affairs do it just for themselves. You are not so special to him. If he weren't with you, he would be with another woman.
Your replacement could be around the corner and even closer than that. He may only be using you to avoid dealing with his own marital difficulties. The painful reality is that you are simply a convenient vehicle.
* He can't bear with his wife any longer and will leave her for me. Research shows that 53 percent of married men say this to their lovers. Many Ghanaian women stay in a limbo, waiting painfully to hear the news: "M'apam obaa no!" (I've sent her away). But in the end only one percent of men do as they say.
In fact, if the man doesn't leave within three months, chances are he wouldn't. He will have plenty of excuses - he needs time, he may lose his job, his wife and children will be miserable, he may lose his reputation in church.
Fact is, he can't leave because he has built his life around his family and will not sacrifice them for you. No matter what he says or you think, you will remain second to his family. He doesn't lose anything.
* He is my soul mate and we will be happier if we marry. Your affair may be exhilarating, exciting and passionate, but even if he leaves his wife for you, it doesn't guarantee a fulfilling relationship. Studies show that marriages in such circumstances have five times chances of failure rate.
Fact is, relationships built on deception and secrecy have no foundation.
Both partners don't see each other as reliable. Both know each is capable of cheating. Selfishness ends in destruction.
What you must know
Dating a married man is not a picnic. You can only sneak around. It entails restrictions, including giving up part of you and openly expressing your emotions to friends and family members. You don't find him when you need him most. You can't have him all to yourself. You may also be stigmatised. He controls and conducts the relationship. Your only choice is to accept or not.
If you are waiting for your turn, think again. If he doesn't leave his wife for you, you get heart-broken and dispirited because you don't feel worthy enough. If he leaves his wife for you, you will live with the guilt of being a party to what has destroyed a family. You can't forgive yourself for ruining other people's lives. Either way, you lose. In fact, research clearly indicates that majority of women with married lovers have pain, anguish, despair, loss of self-esteem, depression, betrayal and loneliness. Loving a married man then becomes pointless.
Is your lover married?
If your lover is married, accept today that it is time to move and take charge of your life. Don't put your life on hold for a married man because you deserve better.
No matter how you want to justify your present state, fact is, you are harming yourself and your family, him and his family. Emotions affect lives.
It is damaging, destructive, painful, time wasting, demeaning and misery.
It is also important to know that what goes around comes around. Do you want to be married and have children one day? If your marriage were in trouble, would you want somebody to help or destroy you?
Don't do what you don't want others to do to you. For every married man you see, there are thousands of single men who are better. The most important relationship you can ever have is one you have with yourself and with one you can have to yourself. Choose to be strong and honourable. As you live upright and become a good model of womanhood, true love will find you.
Is your lover married? Take back your life. It may be difficult like a drug addict during detoxification but your sacrifice will enhance your future marriage and motherhood.
The best advice for a woman in an affair with a married man is simple. Don't.
Authored by John Boakye: jydboakye@yahoo.com
Source: The Mirror
I always said men are more evil than women, you see how they play us, they lie to us, and cheat on both side, im currently in a relationship with a married man not because i want to destroy his family, but because i believe he is my true love, i never forced him to leave his wife for me even though he has promised to do so, well he works as a truck driver so he leaves his wife for three days and this three days i go with him on the truck and that's enough for me, as long as i can share him with his wife im ok
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Maggi wat u have to realize is dat he doesn't luvs u.Do you know the reason why he allows u to be with him for every trip he takes?i'm a man n i'll tell you why:
Just to satisfy himself sexually.
Do u say to self after the trip, that's he even think of me?offcourse not ,he only think of u when is time for him to move.
For luv,don't even think of that.YOU'RE HIS SEX LUV.
Men have this kind of thing,he'll have the gurl he loves the most no matter how she is n also have someone else cuz she knows how to deal with him when it comes to under sheets games(deal with him sexually)MAY BE YOU'RE GOOD AT THAT MORE THAN HIS WIFE.THAT'S WHY HE IS STILL WITH YOU N U THINK THAT'S LUV.
MAY B HE WANTED TO HAVE YOU FOR FUN ONCE N HE GOT STUCK CUZ YOU DID IT VERY VERY GOOD.
FELLAS WILL AGREE WITH ME:CUZ WE LUV IT WHEN YOU DO IT GREAT BUT GOT NO FEELINGS FOR YOU.
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No babs sometimes the man might love his mistress more than his wife but will not leave his wife to marry the mistress because of their kids and other times may be the woman is the one taking care of the man and the mistress can not do that, so you see some men are just players
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Lady you will grow old and lonely. That attitude is wrong. The man made an oath to his wife. Who in their right mind wants a man who broke an oath to God and another woman.
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eii lady, so you are not even ashame of the fact that you are in a relationship with a married man, would you like that done to you when you get married one day?
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You dont sound like a cultured person, just like the below person said you will grow old and weak and then be purnished by God for destroying a marriage
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How in the world can you be dating a married man and say your aim isn't to "Destroy" his family, shame on you, can't you just find a man that is single, and what do you mean by he is your true "Love", you are joking, if he also thinks the same he would leave her for you, but he is not doing that, can't you understand that he just don't love?
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wow do women still after knowing that a man is married they still sleep with the man? can any female respond to this I just dont get it
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you're a kid,that's why you don't know,just wait for some years when u're old enough to understand the real world.That's the only explanation u need for now.
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I would never have no trust for a man who leaves his wife. That life with that married man will be miserable. How some women do it I do not know. This man is having sex with you and his mind is on his wife? You women who open your legs to married men are nasty. The men will always have their wives on their mind. Tell the Dutty Man to go back to his wife.
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if the man is married and is hot I might do him but will not force him to leave his wife, that is something else
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You find it enjoyable to have sex with a man who has his mind on someone else. Men do not forget about their wives.
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I agree, why would you tell him to leave his wife for you, hell to the no...if he's fine, why not and its usually jus aboiut the sex..good sex!
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Women are not dogs. Women get attached to a men quick. Taking a chance and sleeping with someone you would have to share or be a convenience store to. Makes no good sense. Why not offer that part of you to the proper person.
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You kwon one thing about men is that they love with their heads and women love with their hearts the reason is that a man will tell you l love you only to get what he wants he can lie to you. without not telling you the truth but a woman cannot lie to a man if a woman tells a man that she loves him she means deep down her heart she gives everything to the man but a man will never give what he have to a woman he might be hiding some somewhere until you find out so you kwon men cannot be trusted at all the is why the GOOD BOOKS SAY TRUST NO MAN.LADIES LET Watch OUT.A nd be more careful and pray for a true person.
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